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Laura Lynn

Thought I'd get a picture of me while I still had some hair.

Thought I’d get a picture of me while I still had some hair.

I started this blog so I wouldn’t go completely crazy.

I’ve never been sick a day in my life. At least that’s how it feels now. To hear you’ve been misdiagnosed is shocking. To think you could have somehow caught this earlier, stopped it from walking away with your life as you knew it…it was depressing.

I spent a lot of time after surgery in January 2013 wondering what I had done wrong. Examining my mistakes. Terrified I couldn’t fix them. Time was suddenly against me. It wasn’t being old that ever scared me. It was not being old. I love my gray hair. My stories. My family. My friends. My life.

So, on the advice of my mother and my doctor, I started this blog. To get it out of my head and to tell the truth. I haven’t shared it yet. With anyone who knows me. I’m not sure I could write frankly about my fear, my days, my sleepless nights, if I thought it would worry them or make it harder.

So this is for you. Who ever you are. Why ever you’re here. Because you went through this, you’re going through this, someone you love is, you’re curious, you think I’m a good writer…whatever reason you have. Welcome to my world.

43 thoughts on “Laura Lynn”

  1. Hello Laura Lynn,thanks for following my blog and liking some of my posts. I have taken some time before commenting here to try and find the right words but the truth is when it comes to writing I’m crap and I know it,so I will just have to say it best I can.
    I too have cancer in my case of the bowel and apparently terminal as of 18 months ago! When I first found out and went through the chemo and surgery and mental anguish I decided to write a blog warts and all. But I never,it was too distressing for my family.
    As I read your post I am right there with you,hospitals,money,bureaucracy,frustration,moods gratitude,pain and all the other stuff that comes with cancer.I never did the blog but its ok because you do it so well and far better than I ever could.
    As you may have gathered from my blog I now laugh a lot in fact that will be the last thing I do. Finally a word of encouragement, I’m not dead, they don’t know why but every consultant has told me the same thing,the only thing they know with absolute certainty that makes a difference is attitude everything else is a maybe.. You have got it and I will be following your blog to make sure you keep it! Thank you for what you are doing and my best wishes are with you Laura Lynn.

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    • Yikes! That is SO crappy! But I really LOVE LOVE LOVE your attitude and your work. Beautiful stuff! I’m glad you like my blog. Sometimes I wonder why people read it but you’ve given me such a rush of pleasure. I sort of ramble on about whatever happens-or doesn’t happen- during my days. No plan here. Not much rewriting. In fact I just cut cut cut…I go on and on sometimes. I try to keep,it to a 1000 words. If I can express something about what we are going through…it’s the BEST feeling. Thanks Ki.

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  3. Pingback: Very Inspiring Blogger Award | The Peckish Kiwi

    • Awwww, and I wrote a poopy, grumpy post today! Well, I’m nothing if not diverse. You’ve inspired me to try and shake off all this gloom and try and be INSPIRING! So today, I’m cooking something. (Been banned from the kitchen due to burning up dinners and occasional fingers) but today is different. Today, I’m taking my inspiration from all you lovely bloggers who keep me on an even keel! I’m cooking and it will not BURN today. Thank you Mr. P. you’re awesome, and so is your blog The Peckish Kiwi.

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  4. And what a lovely beginning to your world it is. I don’t get the shivers often, but this gave me the shivers all right. The good kind of shivers. The kind of shivers that go up your spine when someone is willing to bare their soul, tell it frankly, go to those dark corners of their mind, at the expense of leaving them exposed, and not sure of what to expect.

    Yes, a lovely beginning. I hope the middle chapters pan out nicely, and I hope it has an even lovelier ending. I’ll stay tuned to find out. Thanks.

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  5. Writing down and sharing your thoughts is a good idea. I started my blog when I was diagnosed with lymphoma. Went through chemotherapy 2011, but very soon my blog went in the direction of patchwork/quilting and photography. I wish you all the best with your treatment – I am absolutely positive that everything will go well!! I just need to read your blog and can feel your attitude. My English is not perfect, but I think you can understand what i mean.

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    • I hope you’re okay now. Lymphoma sounds scary. If you read further back, I’m one of those people who don’t want to know what’s wrong with me,it’s easier for me to focus on the healing and positive things if I’m not scared (too much, anyway) I like writing so it isn’t hard for me. Like drawing. It comes naturally. Do you have a hobby you enjoy now? Quilting is hard! My Mom and sister do it so I know.

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      • I have focused on healing and all positive things in life during my chemotherapy. My hobby is patchwork and quilting. I still have “normal” job at a construction company, give quilting classes, have a dog that needs walking and go 3x a week to yoga classes. And a husband too… My life has changed to the positive since my diagnose. Wishing all the best!! Barbora

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    • Oh Sofia, you are so kind. I like reading yours too but it is much more productive as I can make some of the things you post! I am not much of a good cook lately as any food is tough to take right now but I LOVE to read about it and look at it and i can spend literally hours reading a cookbook. thanks again!

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  7. Hi Laura – Ovarian Cancer is, in my opinion, a cancer that is too often neglected in the medical community. Your blog could help bring awareness. Keep writing. And I hope today is a good day for you! (Thank you, also, for visiting my blog and the follow. It really means a lot!)

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    • You’re right about it being neglected but not so much by the medical community. It’s the lack of awareness of the regular woman on the street that is so incredibly disturbing. The symptoms are subtle but they are there. I don’t indulge in wishful thinking too often but sometimes I wish things were different. That I had recognized what was happening, stopped it sooner. It’s the time wasted as it spreads that will kill you. I wish that my doctor had seen what was happpeing instead of just seeing me as menopausal and complaining. But ya know what? I listened to him. Its my body. I knew something was wrong and I listened to him, not myself. It wasnt his fault…grrrrr.

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      • Oh and I forgot to say…LOVE the old man post you wrote. So true, and hilarious, I can tell you are a keen observer of human nature. As am I. I was telling someone just this morning that I was going to start posting about things other than my condition, just cuz I love writing. Pure and simple, love it.

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      • I see what you mean. I wish the medical community would invest in better detection because (from what I understand) Ovarian cancer can mimic so many things. I hope you don’t beat yourself up too much for listening to your doctor. That is what we – as patients – are supposed to do and why we put our health in their hands.

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  9. I found your blog at 3:30AM this morning and read every entry straight through. This afternoon I meet with the gynecologist-oncologist to discuss lab results and schedule surgery. Last Wednesday I spent the day in the ER with severe abdominal pain. A CT scan discovered a grapefruit-sized, complex cyst on my left ovary. The doctors are concerned about cancer. I’m not going to worry until I have to, but it hasn’t been easy. Your blog was just what I needed to read this morning. Thanks for keeping it real.

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  10. Im glad I found you. I recently beat breast cancer (the young gal kind) and I have a nipple less boob from my abdomen and 60 inches of scars. If that doesn’t make a gal want to blog, well, buy the coffin and sleep in it. But my cancer is “in vogue”. Overian is the step child, and the one that kills the most. I love your attitude, keeping upbeat is what helped me through it all. Hang on to that with both hands. And keep writing. The people on wordpress are, mostly, the gems of the earth.

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    • I’m so glad you have recovered your health. It’s so nice to know that someday I, too, will be out there with my scars. I’ll be thinking up way way better tales than those that are true.
      ‘Yes, it was a hammerhead shark. I was snorkling off the Marianas Trench…’
      ‘I’ll never forget the summer of 2013. Little did I know when my new boyfriend began playing spanish guitar that the woman who offered to tie herself to my wrist wasn’t just being friendly. THEN she pulled a knife!’
      or ‘ Alien abduction?! You don’t believe in alien abductions…hold on a second there mister, have I GOT SOMETHING TO SHOW YOU!’

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      • HAHAHA–or “someone liked my hot boob so much they removed it for a boob transplant, so I got a better one.” Funny thing is, the fake one looks better than the real one because when the surgeon “lifted” it, she moved my nipple so high it will soon sit right under my armpit when I start to sad again! Hmm….do I get a second chance at that?

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  12. You write beautifully about an incredibly difficult situation. My best friend is a ovarian cancer survivor of 13 years. I found you through the MasonBentley blog party. Prayers of peace, strength, and healing to you.

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    • I LOVE that you added ‘survivor of 13 years’, I love to hear that. It’s still a scary thing so my plan has been, and continues to be, think about it later, think about it tomorrow, don’t worry be happy…

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  14. I am so glad that Andra led me to you. I will add you, your mom, sister and dogs to my prayers. And just so you know…You are beautiful and wonderful! I hope you have many more days of planting flowers, walks with your dogs, cooking in your kitchen and feeling good. Loves and Hugs to you my dear! Maybe one day we can share a glass of wine together and laugh about the tolls life can take on us.

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    • Thank you so much. I’d love to share that glass of wine with you today. It’s beautiful out there. I am on my way to Be Kind to Strangers in Lynwood which is a little town on my end of the island. And prayers are the best. I belong to the Unity Prayer so I try and stay in the prayer loop and remember to be happy and grateful and thankful and vital. It feels good!

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    • Definitely will check out your site. Love storytelling, which is slightly different from writing stories. Now I am trying to focus on writing them. The very IDEA of being able to ‘make up’ a story is mind boggling. I’m going to try it someday.
      How did you put it? Never let he truth get in the way of a good story? Hahahaha…

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    • What a beautiful smile you have! I want to use your smile as my screensaver! Love the blog parties! Aren’t they fun? My keyboard is acting up so it was hard to participate this time, but I soldiered on and BOY am I glad I did. Love your blog!

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  18. I read some few things you wrote before but this… this is the first time I read how you started it and I want to shout .. YOU ARE AMAZING , and one other thing you look amazingly beautiful 🙂

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  20. I’ve been doing a dreadful job of reading ANYBODY’s blogs or updates or anything, but I’ve actually been thinking about you a LOT lately. Hopefully that means good things and not bad. How are you doing, friend?

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    • So far, so good! Writing a piece of fiction on my blog so there hasn’t been much to miss. Wait. That didn’t come out right…I mean I haven’t been talking about my health lately. The book is wrapping up, it’s been fun. I started it for NaNoWriMo and decided to finish it. Found out I like writing so I might take some classes or spend some time figuring out HOW to do it. Plot and such like. I have HAIR! Yes I do. I’m pretty pleased about that. What about you Jenn? Can you write me at my email address? This seems clunky writing here…you can reach me at budocat1@yahoo.com
      Hugs to you lovey!

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  26. Pingback: Cancer: The Journey Back… | Red Dog Garage

  27. Going to miss seeing your posts in the blog-o-sphere, Laura Lynn. I’ll be praying for your family as they grieve your lost battle with cancer. You will be missed.

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There is no sin except stupidity.