“Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. That’s why we call it the present.” ― A.A. Milne, Winnie-the-Pooh

Why does kindness make you cry? Why do I cry when I should laugh and smile?

It was one of those days. We all have them. Just one little thing after another, building up, until you just want to scream. Little things.

The mop head broke off. The top to my coffee pot is missing. I decided to make tea and the tea bag broke in the pot so I got a mouthful of leaves. I tipped a container of garlic, chopped garlic, a big container, over. Yes. Right in the fridge. Why wasn’t the lid properly screwed on? Because I was probably in a hurry last time I used it. So I had to take everything out and clean the fridge. It still smells of garlic. I locked Otis out of the house by accident, I didn’t know he’d followed me outside when I went to unlock the henhouse this morning. There was poor Otis, in a total downpour, raining buckets, thunder in one continual loop, booming overhead, and Otis was outside the whole time. We don’t even have a roof overhang for him to shelter under. He was scared and soaked. Nice work, Laura!

Otis is very sad and I did it.

(this picture was taken right after he had a bath and climbed on my bed a couple of months ago. I did not take it today while he was so scared. I’m a terrible person, but not THAT terrible.)

I dried him off, he was shaking with fear and kept his eyes locked on mine as if to say “Why? Why did you do that? Did I do something wrong?” I felt like a terrible terrible person. I went to let him lie on the bed in the guest room-normally a no no for the dogs-and ran into a huge spider web! Seriously? A spider web. In the house. From door jamb to door jamb. Face level.

How long has it been since I was in the guest room? Too long, I guess. But the million dollar question?

Where the hell was the spider? Was it ON me? OMG…WTF…IT WAS ON ME! “AAIIEEE!!! There’s a spider on my head, I know there is, its crawling on my bald head…it was there a second ago! Now where is it?! There’s a spider on me…”..jump in the shower, turn on the water, get my clothes off ( in that order) I’m certain there is a giant spider on me. There wasn’t. At least I don’t think there was. I think it was an empty web. I hope it was. I’m not afraid of spiders. Seriously. I pick them up and put them outside when I see them, but today? I freaked OUT!

And then I remember Otis. Poor little Otis who can’t see very well. Who I just finished drying off. He thinks I’m mad at him, while I’m screaming and running around like a maniac trying to find the spider. He is now trying to cram himself under the dining room chairs. One after another. He tries the sofa. Doesn’t fit. Tries the chairs again. Laundry room? Can’t hide there. I’m now chasing him all over the house apologizing to him, pleading with him to stop. He keeps running away from me. Lovely. I finally corner him and DRAG him to the guest room. HAUL him onto the bed. He doesn’t want to have anything to do with me. He hides in my closet. I let him be. I’m a terrible person. Just terrible.

Then I hear the doorbell. I was in the kind of mood where I just had to ask “What now?”.

It was a package from Mr. Sugarbear. From a sweet little family somewhere in North Carolina. They sent me dog toys and lip gloss and a lovely scarf. Chocolates and lollipops and a card with some cash.

The card enclosed said ‘Sometimes we all need a care package.’

Today, I needed one. And out of the blue, somehow, Mr. Sugarbear timed it perfectly. It really makes you believe in a Higher Power. But it was the pictures, drawn by her own family, that really got me. Of all 3 of my dogs and me. Even Haida. I just started bawling. It was exactly what I needed.

But to ask again…why do I cry? I just sat there looking at everything spilling out of that box and I cried. I couldn’t help myself. It was so incredibly kind and thoughtful.
I pulled myself together. Gave Otis a blanket so he’d be more comfortable lying on all my shoes, and took off. Wearing my new scarf. Feeling like a brand new person, even with tears in my eyes. I went and bought a new mop. Now I’m sitting Bainbridge Island Bakery, having a biscuit with honey and butter and coffee. It’s stopped raining for the time being. In fact it’s a really beautiful, cloudy day.

It’s a wonderful day!

And I had to ask myself…why do you cry when you’re so happy?

Back in the beginning…

Thank you Mr. Sugarbear and family!