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Kitty Wampus

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Yeah, so Dimwit Diaries very kindly gave me a sweet sweet mention and I’d JUST finished writing a really depressing rant because I was having a truly shitty day. They happen when you are left stewing too long in your own juices. I thought I would write something nice in a contemptible effort to not drive everyone to suicide.

Yes, it’s lousy having ovarian cancer, yes, I have moments when I want to scream out loud. However, I also am a nice person and those of you out there who are reading this…thank you. It’s nice, believe it or not, to have people read what you write. Especially when you don’t understand why anyone would want to.

So, that’s all. I like writing. I don’t understand what’s happening to me. I don’t understand the power of positive thinking all the time. But I have some awfully good people out there, Dimwit is one of them, The Peckish Kiwi and Hang and MasonBentley and Papaya Pieces and Sassy Earl Gray, Mancakes and Bens Bitter Blog, all of you make me laugh and make me hungry. Two good things.

I may not get what’s happening to me, or understand what’s happening to the people around me as they see me going through this but just know this…I can be upbeat once every two or three weeks. Sometimes things still startle and amuse me. And when they do, I’ll try not to make you depressed. Promise.

Otis

Otis

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6 thoughts on “Kitty Wampus

  1. Laura, I know the last thing you want is pity, so I won’t say the two words that are so prevalent on mind. I cannot even imagine what you are going through but I do know a thing or two about the lonely hours and I can relate to trying so hard to fight against having myself a great big pity party some days. I have a friend who tells me the truth, even when I don’t necessarily want to hear it and she gave me some simple wisdom recently that hit home. Please know that I am not trying to compare myself to your situation at all. I spent many years raising my son alone without any help and sacrificing to educate him and provide him with as many travel and cultural opportunities as I could. I worked hard and that hard work paid off. He is a son that any mother would be so proud of and he has my heart. He is now launched and has an amazing life in front of him and has found an incredible young lady to share it with. So what’s your point, you are thinking to yourself. My point is that now I find myself in a place where my old life doesn’t fit and all my attempts at creating this new life just for me have been thwarted at every turn. I won’t give a litany of what’s happened, but the frustrations are epic and the voids are deep. So, whenever I talk to this friend, I always start with something like “given the randomness and unfairness of life, I have so much to be grateful for and I just need to shut up”. Here’s the point…….as it was said to me. We can always find someone worse off or in devastating circumstances. Don’t negate your feelings, feel them and own them and allow them to wash over you…….and then know that the sun comes out again and that a new day brings a new perspective. Your garden sounds wonderful and will be great therapy. My yard and flowers are admired by many and it’s because I enjoy working outside And getting my hands dirty and sweating. For me, being in nature is like spending some time with God, or at least what my perception of God is (love, nature, sunshine, rain, animals, and the innate goodness in most people). So just know that everyone has bad days and that they don’t last forever.

  2. In reference to a previous post..(ahem)..and all the way from the UK..she leaps out from behind a wardrobe…shake those pom poms, shake those pom poms, little skip, little jump, shake a bit more..ta-daaaaaaah! xxxxx

    • I KNOW! Otis is partly blind so he’s just cute as hell when he peers at you. Falling over things is also cute, terrible but true. He has a seeing eye dog in his brother, Haida. We got Haida when we realized Otis was going to need some help. His vision has improved a bit now that he is almost 2 yrs old. He is just extremely nearsighted.

There is no sin except stupidity.

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