Just when you thought it was safe. Just as you thought, for a minute, it was going well, here come the bureaucrats. Defined as: noun; an official who works by fixed routine without exercising intelligent judgement. I caught me one.
I just got cut off from my only source of income. All $212.00 a week I was living on. Not counting the $98 in food stamps. Or the gift card, I still have money on the gift card. Also my wonderful and thoughtful sister in law, Karen, sent me a wonderfully timed money order for $100, so that will pay some bills. Worst of all, they only gave me a weeks notice. Or the post office held onto the letter and my next to last cheque for 8 days. So as of the 31st, I’m FUBAR.
They sent me a notice saying that 3 months was long enough. I should be better. Stupid girl. Stupid little grasshopper. Now the ants are in charge, and why shouldn’t they be? There I was, hopping around, eating my head off all those years. Never setting anything aside for my declining years. Silly grasshopper.
Except I thought I was. I always thought I was doing the right thing. I mean, I couldn’t stay with Kevin. After that slap down, knock down, humiliating beating. All those years, gone. I couldn’t have stayed in town after the realization that I was always going to be Kevin’s ex old lady. Hmmph…old lady indeed! I wanted to be gone. Without him, without his stuff, without his sorry ass tied to me like an old tire. Without the lawyers and the angry words. I just wanted to move on, but no one asked me to. I was Kevin’s ex old lady. I even had a good job there, at the end. Making good money. But I quit that job so I could move away. Fresh start. Home sweet home. Again. I found a sign that said ‘Home Sweet Home’ and underneath it, years ago, I wrote ‘Again’.
And before that? I was young. I was so young and stupid. I don’t know what I was thinking. I thought I was doing okay. I wasn’t in debt. Not one penny. I was gorgeous, single, self sufficient, employed. I dated. I had fun and I worked 2 jobs and I loved my life. I was the envy of millions. I grew up in Hollywood, California. I went to Hollywood High School. I drove expensive cars (not mine) and wore expensive clothes and jewelry. I was in movies. One of them won a Razzie. I learned expensive habits and I learned how to toss those things aside. I didn’t care about money. Really. How stupid can you be?
I’ve lived alone almost all my life. I might have had a couple of room mates in my 20’s, but for the most part, it was just me. I paid all the bills the rent the food the clothing the makeup the entertainment the dinner and breakfast the groceries the party every Christmas, the trips to LA to see family and friends the time I went to Europe. Oh god, Europe. I saved and saved for that trip. That’s another story. The facts, though, can’t be changed. I never did earn enough to save money. Only enough to pay my way. By myself. No complaints.
Now the ants have gotten me.