I’m at chemotherapy now.
Still not sleeping well at night. Now, for some stupid reason, I could sleep, and I don’t want to. Struggling against it, in fact. The view out the window is spectacular. The Seattle sky line off in the distance with the snow covered mountains backing it up. Towering clouds, patches of blue. It snowed briefly this morning on my way here.
Sleeping is becoming an obsession with me. Will I? Won’t I? Should I take an Ambien? Should I? I fell asleep last night after writing the Dragon Slayer post. It caught me by surprise in a way. It’s been so long that I’ve felt sleepy that it took a minute to recognize what I was feeling. Sleep! Nodding off, sleep. I almost knocked the lamp off the table shutting the light off so quickly.
Bliss. Insomniacs know.
At 3:37 the low battery warning beep on the smoke detector started up right outside my bedroom door. Every 30 seconds. Beeeeeep.
I just lay there, thinking No not possible. Not now. I didn’t even want to look at the clock. I was thinking maybe it’s early in the morning. Maybe it’s 6:30 am. I had to be up at 6:45. It wasn’t though. 3:37 am.
I just lay there. I figured it was dark. It’s kind of like sleeping. After awhile I heard my sister get up. She sleeps on the other side of the house but she heard the beeping and got up. She was hoping I was asleep. I could tell by the way she whispered to the dogs and cursed under her breath. It was sweet of her. I almost said something but, whatever impulse it was that kept me silent, I just lay there. Listening while she struggled to shut that thing off. She took out the battery and I could just picture her standing there with the battery in her hand, happy that it hadn’t awakened me.
And smoke detector went beeeeeep. She climbed onto the chair again. She pulled some ‘$&@?% wires’ out and climbed down but she didn’t move away from the door. She waited. Being cadgy. Silence. She must have gone back to bed, or started to. That smoke detector let her get almost all the way across the house before it went beeeep again.
She came rushing back and I heard her rustling and fidgeting and telling the dogs to move. Then a loud crunch.
This morning I found the smoke detector buried in the laundry basket.