Today I had my Scarlett O’Hara moment.
When I realized that I’ve only had one chemotherapy and I’ve got months and months to go. With no money and minimal support. So….I’ll think about it tomorrow. Because tomorrow is another day.
The Battle in Seattle has just begun and I’ve done all I can do so far.
It’s all about the paperwork, isn’t it? I’ve paid the bills I could with the money I’ve had, and with my Mothers help, that she cannot afford on her fixed income. I have my pathetic $880 a month that pays rent, heat, food, car insurance, dental bills, credit cards, prescriptions, clothing, animal food and transportation. I’ve seen the social workers. I’ve applied for Food Stamps, Welfare, Social Security. I’ve asked Arms Around Bainbridge, The American Cancer Society, SCCA, The Food Bank, The Interfaith Volunteers and Puget Sound Energy for help with bills and co-pays and transportation and healthy food, what ever they can give me, I could use it.
And now, I just sit here with less than $40 in the bank and hope that someone comes through before I run out of ferry money to get to chemo on Friday. Maybe I could sneak on the ferry home. Its free to leave the Island. You have to pay $7.75 to get back. Maybe jump the turnstile. Its so ‘Fame’ and NYC and ‘West Side Story’. HAH! I could walk to University of Washington Medical Center from Colman Docks. Scarlett would walk if she had to. It’s not that far. I could Google Earth it but I think I would find it depressing.
So that’s rule #6: Don’t let them drive you crazy! Even if you hate paperwork DO IT!! It’s not like you have a choice. Even when you are crying on the phone because you HATE to keep asking someone for car fare, or a voucher or even a dirty carrot, swallow your stupid tears and ask them.
Anyway, I’m not thinking about that today. I’ll think about it tomorrow. When you find that thinking things over has turned into worrying at something like a dog with a bone- just picture Scarlett O’Hara, in her dress made of curtains and that dirty carrot in her hand and Rhett walking away and…well, slam that door darlin’ and say “I’ll think about it tomorrow.”